A Parenting Lesson: What is your Goal in Parenting?

UCLA basketball player DiAngelo Ball along with two teammates were caught shoplifting during a team trip to China. They were detained for a week at their hotel by Chinese officials. Upon returning to the school, they were suspended indefinitely from team activities. 
 
This is a lesson about his father LaVar Ball. While DiAngelo was suspended, LaVar made a public statement and pulled his son out of UCLA. 

“There’s no accountability to them?” LaVar said of the coaches during an interview on CNN’s “New Day” Tuesday morning.

Without naming coaches, LaVar was critical of head coach Steve Alford and his staff for placing blame on the players — LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill — and not taking more responsibility. LaVar said the coaches should have enforced stronger rules during the trip.

from https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaab/2017/12/05/lavar-ball-blames-ucla-coaches-shoplifting-liangelo-ball-china/922691001/
Did you see that? Instead of taking responsibility for not raising his child not to shop lift, he blames the coaching staff! But you know, I understand …  you can raise your child right and they still make boneheaded mistakes. We all did our fair share of dumb stuff our parents told us not to do growing up. But as a parent, you take themistake and use it for training and instruction.  Don’t shift the blame on a third party!
 
But that is not the parenting lesson I really want to talk about. The real lesson is that parents can have huge impacts on their children.In some ways LaVar Ball is a successful parent -the problem is the definition of successful.
 
LaVar has three children, and from a young age he was involved in their lives training them to play basketball, and to that extend he is successful. Basketball training started in the Ball house at age 2. His eldest son Lonzo played UCLA, and had a spectacular year  before being drafted (round 1 second overall pick) by the Los Angeles Lakers. DiAngelo, the middle son had a scholarship to play at UCLA, and could have been a decent college player. The youngest son, LaMelo,  has the talent to at least play college and possibly professional ball.
 
Training one child to play at the college level is not easy, but having 3 talented players, including one who is one of the most hyped up rookies in the NBA this year is incredible. This requires sacrificial resources, hard work, unwavering dedication, and some luck with genes. LaVar did play a bit of college ball himself, but he wasn’t a person you would hear about in the news for his playing days. His wife played college basketball, so perhaps genetics played a bit.  Perhaps the last name Ball is a benefit too. OK I digress. 
 
LaVar is a successful father by his standards- which seem to be basketball and the family business. If you want to read about the drama behind his business, google Big Baller Brand, their $500 basketball shoes, and the reality TV show the family has.  
 
The lesson is this. We will impress something to our kids. If we really want to, some of us can help our children achieve great things, but our goals matter. LaVar’s goal is basketball, and he did AMAZING work.  We need to consider carefully what we pass down to our children. Are we working hard to pass down our faith, morals and character? Or are we trying to make them like us in professional success or social acceptability only? 
 
Here is what God tells the Israel as they werer about to enter the promised land.
 

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deuteronomy 6:4–9 (NIV)

We would do well to love God and pass our love for God  to our children.